I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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