the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
