when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
