Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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