remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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