Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
