Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
