he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
