Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
3pm strippers are depressing
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
