Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
