Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
