I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
