And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's official drugs can't kill me
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
