I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
