At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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