oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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