I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
