Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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