this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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