in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
