I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
