pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
