Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
