I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
