...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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