if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
