So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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