escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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