So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
