you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize