May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
