his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize