She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
