Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The air was thick with penises
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
