fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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