It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
