ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
