if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
