i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
