the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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