he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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