Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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