the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
