Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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