On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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