It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
