Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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