The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
ttyl tear gas
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
