Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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