I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
