Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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