I CAN MOONWALK!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
