wake up i wanna do it froggy style
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
