If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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