Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
