Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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