They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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