I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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