Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize