guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
