I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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