You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
