We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I would fuck him just for his dog
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