thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
