Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
