I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
