coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
