that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
