my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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