Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
