I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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