i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
